Loving You Is Like A Battle
by dragonfly360
Summary: GaaSaku songfic. Ex Factor by Lauryn Hill. Two-Shot. - She is desperate to get the love back, and he just can't let go. - Post Shippuuden
1. Chapter 1

Inspired by Loving You Is Like A Battle by Lauren Hill. Ahem, but I guess you already knew that. My first songfic(the lyrics are the italics). W00t! But this is kind of sad and angsty and sorry bleach fans, but I needed a break from the HitsuKarin. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Even though I chased Kishimoto with a big boning knife, he still wouldn't give it to me. Talk about ridiculous.

|-_~__~_-|

_It could all be so simple...but you'd rather make it hard_

_loving you is like a battle(it's like a battle) and we both end up with scars_

_Tell me...Who do I have to be _

_To get some resaprocity_

_See no one loves you more than me...and no one ever will_

Sakura flinches as the sound of the front door slamming echoes throughout the house. Glancing briefly around the room, she sees the frames on the wall hanging askew and more than a few pieces of furniture smashed. Sighing, she raises a hand to her forehead and shakes her head. Making her way over to the phone, she picks it up and absentmindedly puts in a number while she leans down slightly and examines the vase smashed on the floor.

Dammit, she liked that one!

Hearing the dialing tone, her attention snaps back and she straightens up, rythmically tapping her fingers against the small table. She stops when she realises that it's making said piece of furniture shake. She blinks, bending down again and looking underneath the table with wide-eyed curiosity. She grits her teeth together as she spots that one of the legs is mangled and barely still in one piece. She exhales angrily and clenches a fist.

Hearing something make a groaning sound, she spots she's fisted her hand around the phone. Loosing her vice-like grip hurredly, she leans against the wall, her other arm now under her elbow.

_Is this just a silly game_

_That forces you to act this way_

_Forces you to scream my name then pretend, that you can't stay_

"Heee-llo?"

Her face relaxes a bit as she hears Ino's trademark greeting.

"Hey."

There's silence for a second, and then there's a sigh.

"My place or yours?"

"Yours. Being around here is _so_ depressing me."

Ino laughs, souding a bit relieved that Sakura's atleast able to make a joke.

_Tell me...Who do I have to be_

_To get some resaprocity_

_See no one loves you more than me and no one ever will_

"Okay. See ya."

"Hn, see you."

Ino smiles, knowing perfectly well where the neutral sound comes from.

Sakura hears the slight fuzzing noise stop, and puts the phone down carefully.

She sadly looks at her front room once more, eyes flashing in anger.

Like hell she's going to be the one to clear this up.

Bringing her hands up she forms one seal before turning into a puff of smoke.

_No matter how I think we grow you always seem to let me know_

_It ain't working (it ain't working, it ain't working)_

_And when I try to walk away you'd hurt yourself to make me stay_

_This is crazy (this is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy)_

Gaara almost snarls as he closes the door, his arm accidently pulling forward too soon, making it close with much more force then he expected.

He sighs as he thinks that Sakura will think he did that on purpose. And the damage he just did to their living room.

He had let his sand fly, his emotions getting the better of him, making long tendrils snap out. He had seen out of the corner of his eye her favourite vase break. He inwardly winces at he quickly walks down the steps. He had no doubt she'd notice. She was probably going to go over to a friend's and leave him to clean it up. She always did that when she was particularly angry. She'd make herself walk away. If she hadn't she would have come looking for him, furious frown etched over her features as she stalked through the streets, searching for his chakra signature. He himself had left before he caused any more things to break.

He rubs his temples as he contemplates what to do.

Before it all seemed so much easier. But things just seem to get worse, the fights would get worse, the cold shoulders icy, it never seems to go right for long. Everytime he'd hurt her more, and she'd hurt him, and they didn't know how to stop it. But they still stayed together regardless. She, in a last desperate effort to get the love back again, and he, because he just couldn't let go.

Where did it all go wrong?

He wonders as he head through the streets towards a training ground.

How do we fix it?

He still loves her, and he wants it to work. That he knows for sure. But how? How should he stop the fights?

_I keep letting you back in_

_How can I explain myself?_

_(I don't understand why...)_

_As painful as this thing has been_

_I just can't be with no one else_

Maybe he should just go and forgive her.

He knows where she is. Ino's house, of course. He should clear up the mess he made, get her her favourite treats, buy her a present and head over to Ino's house, to ask for forgiveness.

He should. But he can't.

He stops as he turns a corner, dissapearing in a whirlwind of sand.

Appearing in his -their- bedroom, he opens his eyes and silently orders his sand to carefully put everything back the way it was. It picks up the broken beyond repair items and put them neatly in a corner.

Now knowing what he needs to do, he dissapates once again and appears outside Ino's door.

_See I know what...we've got to do_

_You let go and I'll let go too_

_(And I'll let it go...)_

_Cuz no one's hurt me more than you_

_and no one ever will_

To his slight surprise, Sakura opens the door. She blinks at him and her expression turns guarded.

"What?"

She snaps, eyes cold and hard and distant and making his resolve harden.

"I apologise."

That surprises her, she stares at him in a very confused manner.

"Sakura...", he says, voice pained, "I think we should break up."

Not one to try to make it sound better, he says it and then frowns sadly at her, eyes saying he's sorry for that too.

Sakura looks surprised and heartbroken.

Sure, maybe they don't have the best relationship, but it's not that bad.

_No matter how I think we grow_

_you always seem to let me know_

_It ain't working (it ain't working, it ain't working)_

_And when I try to walk away_

_you'd hurt yourself to make me stay_

_This is crazy (this is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy)_

Gaara is about to leave when Sakura starts crying.

Not loud, obvious sobs, with hiccups and sniffles and wailing.

Sakura's crying is just one tear, just one, escaping from her left eye.

"Oh, okay."

She says, and maybe he would've been fooled by the normal and steady voice that she was okay if her knuckles weren't white and she wasn't blinking too fast.

_Care for me (care for me, care for me)_

_I know you care for me_

_There for me (there for me, there for me)_

_Said you'll be there for me_

_Cry for me (cry for me)_

_You said you die for me_

_Give to me (give to me)_

_Why won't you live for me_

He sighs painfully, and takes the steps forward to gather her in his arms.

"I'm sorry...but...we can't...it's too hard..."

"I know."

She says quietly, wishing it was some other way. Wishing they weren't both too stubborn and tempermental.

Wishing it could work.

But it won't. They're too similar.

Maybe some day, they think, hope, maybe some day, when we are diferent, wiser, not so young, it will work for us.

They'll wait for that day.

But until then...

Gaara lets go of her and steps back, looking at her one last time, raising a finger to trail her cheekbone. Then he leaves, to go back to his home, which he has missed but survived without for her. And she cries silently and tearlessly now as her friend, different enough from her, holds her and croons silent words.

_(Where were you...when I needed you?)_

|-_~__~_-|

Sad, angsty, a few dark humorous parts...Different, I hope. I recently fell in love with this song(reminds me of Let Me Go by 3 Doors Down), and I thought of GaaSaku straight away.

No happy ending(sort of)...weird, for me.

Hmmmm, sequel?


	2. Chapter 2

Sequel to Loving You Is Like A Battle. While it may seem incredibly different in both style and genre, it's definitely a sequel.

Erm, a bit angsty, perhaps some humor (God help us all). Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I'll spontaneously start owning Naruto once the manga is finished, no need to worry.

|-_~__~_-|

It had been five years.

Sakura had matured more, you could clearly see what she would be like in her middle-aged years, which she would live to see, because the student had surpassed the teacher.

Her pink hair, which she had cut short firstly because she had finally lost some of her childish stupidity, then for convinience, and finally because she had discovered it _still_ got in her eyes, had been cut shorter, layered and barely brushing her jawline. Her green eyes, which had held fire and a not a little innocence had hardened considerably, due to the fact she had spent great deal of her jounin years as an ANBU. The assaination of good men -good men that had families with wide-eyes as she slit their throats- that had simply fallen down to greed and betrayed their country in some way, had changed her once-childish and immature 'black-and-white', 'good-and-evil' views of the world into a much wiser one, one most people took years to see and even longer to fully accept.

Nothing is good, and nothing is evil. There is no black and white, just grey. The line between the two is far too blurred for it to ever be that simple and easy.

And after she had to sneak into an advisor's house at midnight and stab him while he slept, she learnt something else as he opened his eyes and looke at her calmly, struggling to gasp 'It was for Konoha, it was for _you_'. Something she stuck to firmly and thought with despair and "why don't they get it?" everytime she thought about wars started 'for peace'.

The - means - _do not_ - justify - the ends.

They never have. Even if that man did make a deal behind Tsunade's back for 'the good of Konoha', for more money to donate to their educational system and civilian work, it was through child labour and slave trade. Tsunade had had him killed not for betraying her and making shady deals, although that was the offcial statement they monotonously read out at his funeral, it was for what the deal entailed.

Even if the Akatsuki want the demons' power for a huge weapon, it was to make everything obidient to bring peace and prosperity. Through fear. Sakura knew, being as intelligent as she was, that it would never work anyway. There will be no peace between humans, ever, because that's just part of being human.

The girl, now definitely a woman, in question shifted in her seat to prop her head up on her palm, avoiding the gaze of the man opposite her.

Gaara had matured too, the last of the roundness dissappearing from his face, all baby fat now gone completely. His hair hadn't changed much, but now his actions were calm and relaxed, rather than controlled and tense. He still crossed his arms, but that was force of habit. His eyes, unlike Sakura's, had softened somewhat. His last few years had let him finally experience and enjoy the simple things most took for granted. Although he would never be a completely normal person, going from a compltely insane homocidal physcopath the the most powerful man in his country (in only two years, she still marvelled and admired) meant he would always be noticed. But being bowed to respectfully was much better than having people edging away in a terrified manner.

Now he is just feared, but as a revered and reknowned leader, a good leader, a brilliant and sharp man. Man now, not a boy, although he still had been when he took his place as KazeKage. His views had changed too, becoming similar to hers perhaps. He observed closely than ever, and always asked 'Why?'. He listened patiently to every answer, deducing the same thing.

They wanted to do good, but they did it in the wrong way. Like 'for the good of mankind'. He never understood that from the start. "'For the good of mankind'? Are you god? When did we ask you to...?".

It was as elusive to him as a euphemism. He never got those either. Why say 'kicked the bucket' when you mean they have died? They're dead, simple as that. He understood saying 'gone', it meant the same thing, that they would no longer be present in your life. He would oftentimes ask people, usually his siblings, why this was. They would smile and sit down to happily explain it to him.

Unless he was asking what 'hitting the home run' means (if that was the case Kankurou would gulp strickenly and edge away, saying something about 'something important, things to do! P-Places to be!', while Temari would glare at the rapidly dissappearing back before sighing and rubbing her temples, mentally preparing herself for the embarrassing ordeal to come).

His eyes looked different too, she noticed. The lines of black were much thinner, but still evident and his eyelids were still very dark. She didn't think it would look normal anyway, what with no eyebrows. The lines made up for it, took up the space, as it were. She flicked her eyes away from his to infront of her as she realised how long she'd been staring and the inane thoughts she'd been having.

They had both changed.

She peeks up at him though, feeling childish as she does so, and after a minute (that feels much, much longer) his eyes slowly make his way to her once more while he talks without changing pace. They can't help but to think:

Is it enough? Have we changed enough for it to work now?

Although she knows she shouldn't, she feels like she really wants to just sit down together and talk about everything that happened since he left. She doesn't want to go back to where they were, of course not, she wants something new, but at the same time...taking the good parts of what they had.

Even though he should really be telling Naruto that _no, I am not looking at your ex-teammates chest_, he finds himself doing so anyway (_'what's wrong with me?'_). She hadn't taken after Tsunade that much, but enough to have made him pause slightly when he walked into the room, unsurprised at Naruto in Hokage's robes, but not Sakura and Shikamaru sitting on either side. Shikamaru because, frankly, he never thought that Naruto would have managed to corner the lazy guy into actually doing something like being a councilor, and Sakura because he expected her to be Head of the Hospital or some equally befitting title.

The man sitting to Gaara's far left stands up and starts reading off a scroll monotonously, scrunching his eyebrows together as he looks over the top of it to look at the Hokage's councilor sitting opposite him. Who, incidentally, is Neji. The man quickly looks back down and reads a little faster.

Everyone smirks or smiles, apart from Gaara, Naruto and Sakura. Naruto was oblivious, Gaara hadn't seen because he wasn't really concentrating on that, and Sakura's eyes were fastened onto the table, where she was tracing patterns with her free hand. Suddenly Sakura remembers that she is a strong, independent, ass-kicking kunoichi (dammit _yes!_). She wouldn't be weak, she would rise to the challenge with her head held high.

Gaara, who had met her eyes and seen the defiance there, finally looks away and shifts inconspicuously, starting to calmly listen to Naruto as his own junior councilor finishes talking and sits back down, but his mind is whirring and his thoughts are bouncing around in his head, and his heat is beating fast and is it just him or is it really hot in here? He fastens his eyes on Naruto now, willing himself not to look at her.

How could just one look affect him so much?

|-_~__~_-|

The meeting had finally ended, having been dragged out for an entire three hours (stupid little - every tiny detail - so damn ANNOYING). Sakura gets up and leaves immediately, saying that she would be needed in the hospital. Shikamaru didn't move, looking like he'd rather stay there and not disturb his rest. Suna's council members leave quickly, filing out the door.

Naruto, who had stayed to speak with his own council, glances up and smiles as he spots Gaara leaving through the same door Sakura did.

"Sakura."

She stops, mouth open. Maybe a part of her had been hoping for this, for him to follow her, which is why she hadn't just transported straight to the hospital foyer, but that had been hope. Nothing ever went the way she hoped! (Just you wait... something will go terribly wrong here...) His voice had sounded close, his stealth skills had definitely improved.

Turning, she looks at him, eyes guarded, muscles tense, ready to bolt and not ready to trust.

He almost purses his lips as he observes this. Clearly he would have to show her that she could trust him. What did he do to make her act like this anyway? It was what they needed. Needed. Somehow, now, he just knew...

They didn't need it anymore.

"It's been a long time."

She relaxes just a little bit, having expected anything apart from him acting like this was a normal conversation between two friends who had been kept apart by a long mission. Then the meaning behind his carefully worded, hidden question hits her and she very nearly smiles joyously. Instead her eyes twinkle, and she relaxes as much as her 'always on alert' body can. Gaara notices and sighs with relief inwardly. She had understood.

_'Why did I doubt her in the first place? She's probably just as, if not more, intelligent as I am.'_

"Yes, you could say so."

Her own sentence, hardly carefully picked, was perhaps better than his, because she hadn't needed to think before speaking. She knew what to say, how to slowly get to the sensitive point they were trying to reach.

And she smiles.

Because they understand each other now. Perfectly, they would know now. What to do, what not to do, what to expect. Who, what, when, where, why, how.

He looks at her, and he can't help but smile just a little in return. Giving and recieving relatively the same, that was what they lacked before. (Or what they thought they lacked.) Before they were unsure, now they weren't. Was it a good thing, or a bad thing? Who knew the answer? They did. They would. In time, with work and effort and trust and understanding.

"How have you been?"

"Overworked. But really, I'm fine."

She's still smiling widely, and he cautiously steps forward.

"I'm sorry."

"No," she shakes her head and holds up a hand, he stops his advance until he realises it's a 'I'm not having any guilt crap' movement. "One of us had to accept that that was what was needed, if not you then me."

"True. But I still feel bad."

"Why?"

"Because it means I'm smarter and obviously not in denial."

He smirks, and she melts, laughing, stepping forward and wrapping her arms around his middle.

"I've missed you, Gaara."

She whispers, resting her head on his shoulder, feeling especially content when a hand comes to rest on the small of her back, another going around her waist. She inhales, and breathes out slowly, relishing everything that comes with being close to him.

"Does this mean you forgive me?"

He asks quietly, not wanting to break the silence or what must obviously be some sort of stupor that she's in because he never expected her to suddenly hug him and seem to have forgiven completely.

"Hm... I suppose."

"Good enough."

"Oh shut up. Never happy with anything, are you?"

She asks, only an expert knowing she was only mock-angry and not about to deck him into the hospital on the other side of the village so she could cover up the evidence of ever having broken his nose (or jaw, she likes them to remember her whenever they chew steak).

"Possibly."

She shakes her head and laughs.

"Idiot," she pulls back, to look at his face, "idiot." Shaking her head with mock disdain, she turns and returns to her trip to the hospital, Gaara beside her.

"We're old."

He doesn't say anything, merely glancing at her as she places a finger to the corner of her mouth.

"No, wait, you're old."

Again, silence, but she had expected it and looks towards him to see the look saying 'me? What are you on about woman?'. He knew what she was referring to, but still, he did not like being accused of old age. (I am only twenty four!)

"You're older than me."

"By four months."

"Still old."

"Sakura-baa-chan."

She stops and her mouth drops open, eyes incensed and black fury leaking from every pore.

Naruto, meditating in his office on his desk now, chuckles. _'Aaaaand things are back to normal.'_

He hears a crash thanks to his hieghtened senses, emanating from inside his Hokage building, and he sighs.

Definitely normal.

"Idiot."

|-_~__~_-|

...Morbid. And then very sappy (ewe) and humorous. Wow, so different from the last. But still, I hope you like ^^.


End file.
